Six weeks ago, I was running at life 100 mph.
My to-do list of projects was long and I added to it every day.
My ambition was mostly focused on everything I wanted.
I was stuck at home during a pandemic, but struggling to be fully present with my wife and my son.
Never satisfied with accomplishments, constantly looking at what I thought needed to get done.
Feeling disconnected from purpose and calling…
But choosing to keep grinding all day and checking out at night.
But in The back of my mind I could almost hear God trying to say, “You need to slow down.”
Then in an instant everything stopped.
One small accident with a saw meant that for a season, I no longer get full control over my time, my money, my body, my emotions.
From pain like I’ve never felt to being stomach sick for weeks on end, to mood swings and deep lows from painkillers and having my independance ripped away…
God was telling me again –
It’s time to slow down.
It’s time to trust him
It’s time to recenter my focus on what he’s called me to do, and block out the noise around me.
It’s time to enjoy everything I’ve been given, and not be striving so hard for more.
It’s time to be grateful, and say thank you for your community, your family, your stability, your happiness, your hand that’s still there.
And lastly, It’s time to trust.
Trust him for strength that outlasts my own grit.
trust that his calling for me is better than my own.
Trust that he will restore my strength, in my body and my mind…
right arm, 6 weeks post
Funny thing – my father-in-law & long time mentor (who’s been through stage 3 lung cancer and spends his time as a hospital chaplain around those at the end of their lives) told me something this week that stuck.
It was something along the lines of “You don’t want to look back on these years with regret, knowing that you should’ve slowed down… soaking in precious moments and heart to heart talks with your son, instead of being absorbed in projects.”
Then he said this…
“Most people your age don’t get an opportunity like this to slow down.”
I’ve had at least two, between the UCC shooting and now.
Now it’s not my place to tell anyone when it’s time to hustle or when they need to rest. That’s between you and the Lord.
But I wanted to share this because I (the recovering pessimist) feel blessed enough to have been given this unique perspective.
For my ambitous friends. For my busy friends. For my father friends. For my creative friends…
God’s has put a unique calling on your life.
Maybe your already in-line with it, maybe your not.
Maybe he’s asking you to serve and learn before building your vision.
Maybe he’s asking you to slow down.
Maybe he’s asking you to trust him.
Whatever the case is, we won’t know unless we stop and listen.
The people around us need us more than we need us.
If you’ve reached the end of this post, I pray this hits you like it did me. I pray that you’re receptive to what God has in store. Your family will thank you for it.
Here’s a few lyrics to a song I’ve heard a million times, but never hit me this hard until today.
“…Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You’ve never failed and You won’t start now…
…Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior”